How do you explain daylight savings time? My little boy is growing up!

Daylight Savings Time

When daylight savings time ended last month, I tried to explain it to my 7.9 year old daughter:

me: Daylight savings is ending, so we gain an hour.

her: how?

me: Well, every year they change the time and then they change it back. So it will be 6 in the morning, but it will feel like seven!

her: (pointing to the calendar), so we get an extra hour here and here too?

me: No, we only get the hour just once, until they change it again, and then they take it away again, six months later.

her: I don't understand.

me: (more lame attempts at explaining, not doing a good job...)

her: Whatever, I just don't get it...(mumbled as she walks away)

My Little Boy Is Growing Up!

My youngest is almost 2. He's learning about how to notice bodily functions. The first step in potty training is learning to regocnise a bowel movement (hereafter referred to as poop). He's good at it, too. When he has a poop, he promptly removes his diaper, lays on the floor (carpeted), and calls for me until I come. Isn't that sweet? Well, the not so sweet part is the poop smears. I am getting tired of scrubbing the poop off the carpet every time this happens. I keep explaining to him that I would prefer it if he would let ME be in charge of removing the diaper, but he just doesn't seem to get it. Two year olds aren't very smart when it comes to things like this. What they lack in brains, they sure make up for in cuteness, though. I think its an evolutionary thing (humans are endeared to cute things, making toddlers much more likely to be hugged, rather than eaten). I may have to start duct taping the diaper onto him (something I did with my daughter for a while). These darn velcro diapers are just to easy for a two year old to remove!

My daughter's Letter to Santa

Hannah is almost 8. Here is her letter to Santa:

"I whant a BarBie Manted Bick. And a vibow now. And a BarBie Dall with a Brush a Boll hare."

Interpretation:

I want a Barbie Mountain Bike, and a Video Now, and a doll with brushable hair.

I just love the way kids spell!

I ink-thay at-they im-ay e-thay aziest-lay erson-pay on-ay e-thay anet-play.

Pig Latin

Dylan has been practicing Pig Latin today. One day he aspires to be fluent in the language. My hopes are not high. You see, his father spent many years in Germany and hardly speaks a word of German. I just don't think that our family is particularly gifted when it comes to learning second languages. Otgay atthey?

Its official. I am a slob!

Sean hates that I'm a slob. To be honest, I hate that about me too. I have actually started to think that I've really changed, and that I'm not a slob anymore. Well, I'm finding that I have a long way to go still. Sean goes out of town for two weeks, and somehow I just can't force myself to clean the house when I know he won't be coming home. I'm not a harried housewife. I'm just lazy! I have four children, yes. But 3 of them are in school during the day, and considering the inordinate amount of time I spend on the internet, I'm sure I could do something more productive. I have the time and energy to keep the house clean. What I apparently lack at the moment is the desire.

I change a diaper and just leave the soiled diaper sitting wherever I please, taking joy in my small victory, knowing that Sean won't be home later, saying "Laurie!!! why is there a diaper in the living room?" After a few days of leaving them wherever I want, even I am getting annoyed by the diapers everywhere. Sigh. The toilet needs cleaning. The floor needs vaccuuming. The dishes, well, I'm not even going to talk about them.

Sean will be home in less than a week and I need to start cleaning my house so he doesn't cry when he walks in the door.

Crapcakes and a migraine

Crapcakes, thats the name my husband gave to those little snack cakes. You know, like Little Debbie and Hostess cakes (Twinkies, Zingers, and the like). Although he doesn't want me to spread the word, the truth is that Sean used to buy these cakes with some frequency. He hates it when I tell people that (good thing nobody reads this blog, lol). He knows that they are yucky and yet he bought them anyway. He claimed that because he was denied these as a child, he had to get his fill of them as an adult, even knowing how disgusting they are. They are gross, you know. I remember that I never even ate them as a child. The few times I had a twinkie in my lunch, I gave them away. In fourth grade I gave them to Kyle Hogue (he was so cute), and he would sit on the package and squish them and then squeeze it out and eat it! I swear its the truth! I think that they were peanut butter flavored, too. Did Twinkie make a peanut butter flavored crapcake in the 70's? Anyone know?

Anyway, Sean has apparently outgrown his little crapcake obsession (he's moved on to gum! He buys gum constantly!). For some reason, though, he bought a box of Zingers the other day. My kids were excited. They had one for dessert. I gave Dylan, (9 year old son) one in his lunch. Here's the conversation we had after school that day:

Dylan: Mom, can I have a Zinger?
Me: No. You had one in your lunch, thats enough for the day.
Dylan: I didn't eat it though. Can I have one now?
Me: You didn't eat it?
Dylan: Weeeelll, I traded it for some Doritos. So I didn't get one like every one else (meaning his sisters, who also got one in their lunches). So can I have one?
Me: Looks like you got one, you just didn't eat it.
Dylan: Right, I didn't eat it, so that's why I need one now, because I didn't get one.
Me: You DID get one, you just gave it away, and I'm not giving you another one.
Dylan: I didn't get to eat it though! So, I didn't get one!!
Me: Yeah, you ate Doritos. That was your choice. End of story. You got one. No more Zingers.
Dylan: But MOOOOMMMMM! Please, please can I have one (he's working on a few tears, hoping that will help him plead his case).
Me: Nice try, kid. No Zinger.

I have to give the kid some credit for working with what he had. He figured he was entitled to a Zinger, somehow.

Meanwhile, Hypatia (my 5 year old daughter) walks in and ignores all reason, she doesn't care whether she's entitled or not, she just wants what she wants. She starts yelling:

Hy: I want a Zinger!!! (yelling at the top of her lungs)
Me: No
Hy: I want a Zinger!!! (this time her face is beginning to contort and she's starting to collapse).
Me: No
Hy: Please, please, I really really want a Zinger!!! Give me a Zinger now!!!! (at this point she's on the floor, wailing).

Now the Migraine Kicks In

Up until the kids got home from school, I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was nursing a bit of a headache. Somehow, and completely unrelated to the Zinger events, (yeah, right), the headache accelerated into a full blown migraine, complete with fuzzy vision. At this point, I informed the children that they had to keep their eye on the baby, and that I was officially sick, so don't bug me for a while. I took some Ibuprofin and retired to my room and fell asleep, well sort of. It's hard to go to sleep with 4 children running around the house. In any case, I rested. Luckily I don't suffer from severe migraines that last for days. I was mostly recovered within an hour and a half. My head was sore, but the headache was mostly gone. What's really lucky is that the children are all alive and didn't kill themselves while I was in my room, ignoring them.

The curse of the FIRE ANTS

We live on two acres out in the country. We have our own little piece of earth. Its a good feeling, you know, having more land than you really want to mow. Turns out, though, that we have squatters present. Fire Ants are going to rule the world before too long. They want us out, and they just might succeed. They are brutal. I think there should be a movie called "When Fire Ants Attack". We have waged war on them (well my husband does it all, but I'm there cheering him on). We are losing the war so far. The are everywhere. When they bite, it stings horribly, then it becomes a little pus pocket. My son who is two went out the back door for a minute with bare feet. I don't even think he went onto the grass. There was a Fire Ant pile right there by the sidewalk, and he of course stood right in it. 2 year old children don't grasp the idea that, in these situations, the best defense is a good offense. He doesn't run away from the pile! He just stands there screaming while the ants climb all over his feet, biting him. My daughter saw what was happening and started screaming. She grabbed him and brought him in and we proceeded to slap off the ants. He had maybe 100 or more bites on his feet and ankles. This happened a few weeks ago. He still points to his feet and says, "bite!".

He has since learned how to scan the ground and quickly spot the ants when he walks around the back yard.

Ok, I'm going to try to recreate the post that dissappeared. Its gonna suck, though, compared to the first one.

I haven't written for a few months. I got obsessed with some things and sorta stopped writing for a while. Now I'm back. I plan to write more often.

Its fun to read about the little day to day things that are inevitably forgotten. I've always wanted to inspirational, clever and wise when I write, but that's not me. I tend to be down to earth, pragmatic, and decidedly non-inspirational. I recently uncovered an old journal (remember those? We used to actually have to use a pen back in the days before the internet). It was tucked away in a box of my personal belongings and left to rot at my parents house. They finally got sick of having the boxes taking up space in their house and made me take them home. I found the journal tucked in between my old clothes I wore back in the 80's. I hadn't read the journal since 1990. Wow, did it bring back some memories. Apparently I was boy crazy at that age. Thats all I wrote about back then. I remember wanting so desperately to write something that was actually meaningful. I would sit with my pen at the paper and try to squeeze out a poem, something, anything! I'm no writer. I suffer from a severe lack of creativity. I actually managed to write a dumb poem about my inability to write poems. Sigh. It was the best I could do. I'll let you read it if you promise not to laugh in my face about it. Just make sure my back is turned.

Ok, its more like prose. I couldn't even get it to be poem-y.

Here it is. It doesn't have a title. I couldn't think of one.

The words aren't here tonight.
I cannot write.
Yet my pen yearns to move freely across the vast white expanse of the paper.

So I sit, and my pen moves, writing nothing of consequence to any other person.

But I would have it otherwise.
My thoughts are too clumsy to record, and my pen too slow to keep up with the constant flickering of ideas moving about within my mind.

What is it that I can do if I cannot write?
What is the gift I can give to the world?
That there is something to give, I do not doubt.
I feel it often enough.

Its that urge I have to stand where others can see me, and be touched by me, not physically, but spiritually, within the heart.

What song, what verse, what drama, is waiting for the moment to become a work of art?
What moment of inspiration awaits the world?
Some day it will sally forth its efforts and...

EXIST.

End of dumb non-poem-y poem.

Ok, I'm laughing at that last line. Sally forth??? Hahahaha. Ok, I'm laughing at the whole thing. I did write a few other romantic poems that are way too bad to even be put on a blog that nobody reads.

So I wrote this when I was 18 and I wanted to be famous. Maybe an actress, a singer or a writer. Truth is, I can't think of a thing on my own. I couldn't make up an original story to save my life. I kissed a creative person once (20 years ago). He recently became a rather famous playwrite, and won some really big award for a play he wrote, which was also made into a movie. So, he wasn't famous yet, and the kiss was closed mouth, so it doesn't really count does it? I was only 16 and I was a goodie goodie and I didn't french kiss. Needless to say, the future famous playwrite guy's interest in me rapidly waned. He quickly moved on to greener pastures, lol.

Now I'm 36 years old. I'm a wife and mother, so the only boys I blog about are the ones I gave birth to. I still don't have anything inspirational to say. My kids are my work of art, and my husband is a just piece of work. LOL, sorry hon, that was just a joke. :)

The last part of the lost in cyberspace blog that I wrote was all about how fat I am and how I'm going to be working on losing weight. It was humiliating enough to write the first time, I'm not going to write it again. Bully for you, my non existent readership. You have been spared the gory details.

Ok, so I haven't written anything in a few months. I'm fat, too. So there.

I really feel like cussing right now. I bleeping wrote this long freaking big post and when I clicked publish, it disappeared. Oh I'm so mad. ARRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! It was so good. So sarcastic. So not clever. I'll never be able to repeat this post. Watch. This one is gonna publish just fine. Man this sucks.

Hannah comes home! Yummy avocado dip.

Grandma and Grandpa finally returned our daughter last night. I think she finally started to miss us!! She was so excited to see us and we were happy to see her! Welcome home Hannah!

Yummy avocado dip:
2 avocados chopped up
1/3 cup chopped sweet onion
some lime juice (tsp or so)
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 can of Rotel Tomatoes, drained
1/3 cup sour cream

Stir it up and eat it up. Yummy!

We have moved

We have moved to a new (to us) house and I moved the computer, but the phone line hasn't been switched yet, so I haven't been able to blog lately. We should have internet access by Monday. I know no one reads this anyway, so it's not like anyone really cares that I haven't posted an entry for a week.

See ya.

West Nile Virus and my big Headache, and the neighborhood Ashleys help me out

Is it West Nile Virus?

We have had this illness that keeps striking the family, and after some research it sounds like West Nile Virus, but I don't know for sure if it is. Dh, Ha, D, and Hy have all (not at the same time--its been spread out over a period of a few weeks) had terrible headaches and fevers. D and Ha both threw up. They were really suffering, but they all got better. Today I have a headache, yuck.

Painting the house

I went to finish up some painting in our new house yesterday. We are a one car family at the moment, so I had to walk. It was hot, but not too bad. I took a couple of the neighborhood Ashleys (one is 11, the other is 9--there is another one who is 11 but she is a bit of a snot and wouldn't be caught dead playing with my kids, LOL) with me so they could play with Hypatia and Wade. They all played hide and go seek in the empty house and kept my little ones entertained while I painted. We are going to start moving our big things over this weekend, I think. Then we will start (ok, finish, ha ha) fixing up this house and sell it, or maybe rent it.

My head hurts to badly to write much more. I always said this was a dumb blog anyway.

You think she misses me? Whole wheat spaghetti noodles

I called my dd finally. She's been 500 miles away, at her Grandparent's house. Conversation goes something like this:

me: Hi Honey! How are you doing?
dd: Fine!
me: Are you having fun?
dd: Yes!
me: Do you miss me?
dd: No.

She's having fun and not really thinking twice about us. I'm pretty sure that if she thought she would never see us again she would consider missing us. She loves her grandparents and her aunts, uncles and cousins. Dylan was ready to come home after two weeks, and maybe she will be too. Maybe.

Sean isn't fond of spaghetti, and last night I made spaghetti (strike 1). I used whole wheat noodles (strike 2). No meat (foul). I was able to make some garlic bread (base hit). I didn't score any points with dinner, but hey, I didn't strike out!

Speaking of softball, the house we bought is just a stones throw away from the city's ball park. That means that we won't have to worry about getting our kids to ball practice. They can just walk! Right now we only live about 1/2 mile away, but Arkansas doesn't believe in walking and has no side walks or crosswalks. There is a major street to cross. Its not really safe for them to walk alone, so we either walk with them or drive them. The season is over now, but next year will be easier!

Anyone want a 19 month old kid?

I was in the middle of writing a nice long post about how my computer crashed, then I got it running again, (but lost everything on the computer--you know, back to ground zero), and how we bought a new house and we are painting it vibrant, bold colors, and how my littlest one got into a container of cinnamon and now my kitchen floor is brown (he walked in with the empty container going "heaaagh, heaaaagh, heaaaagh"). I think he was telling me that the cinnamon tasted hot.

So anyway, here I am, typing away and in walks Wade, my 19 month old cinnamon spiller. He goes right up the computer and turns it off and gives me a look that says "I'll teach you to ignore me...that's right, I'm talking to you!

It was a nice, clever, well worded post. The best so far. I'll never write something that good again. Ok, maybe it wasn't that great.

Dylan is home and Hannah leaves. Summer and BLTs

Well, my inlaws came home and brought Dylan back. He was gone for two weeks and he had a blast. He played with his twin uncles on the computer until 1 am every night, then he played with his cousins, every day. He and P have a playful (sort of) rivalry. They engage in what I think of as joyful torture. Its torturous for the grandparents, but they (the kids) get such a kick out of it, they just won't stop. Dylan is 9 and P is 6. Well, now Dylan is back, and now he's torturing us. We love him so much, but 9 year old boys can sure be annoying! Already he and Sean, my DH are back into their alpha male competition, and since Sean really is the alpha male, Dylan usually ends up in tears. But they really do love eachother.

Hannah (7) is now gone with the inlaws. We had to reschedule her orthodontist to August 1 at 7:30 AM!!!. That's the only time they had available! Ack! She really wanted to go to Georgia, so I said that we'd make it. But its not going to be easy! We are early risers, but not really fast movers in the morning. I may have to set an alarm clock that morning, if I can find it. For a while, Wade made a game of throwing the little clock onto the tile floor to see if he could pop out the batteries. When I finally couldn't find one of the batteries, I hid the clock, and now I'm not sure where the clock or the batteries are.

Hannah is so excited, she's going to be with the grandparents for two weeks. She and her grandmother just get along so well. They just dote on eachother and they will enjoy their time together. Everybody loves Hannah. She has friends call every day asking her to spend the night.

Hypatia (5) was sad about being left behind and tried really hard to produce some tears. But really she knows deep down inside that she just really needed to stay with mama. Maybe next year she can go. She and Ha play a lot together and Hy will really miss her while she's gone.

A Good Old Fashioned BLT!

Summer and BLTS!! Yippee!! This morning we ate BLT sandwiches for breakfast. We only eat them once or twice a year, when the tomatoes are in season. This is the first year we have ever planted a garden and had fresh tomatoes right out of our front yard. Usually we have to buy them. We bought this incredible thick peppered bacon and oh yum. It's just incredible. You just can't improve on bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and toasted bread.

I could be a vegetarian if I put my mind to it. I really could. I can live without meat. I eat beans regularly, and I even like tofu, honest! But I would have to sneak in a BLT once in a while, I think.

Giving In, And My Favorite Breakfast

Seems like everyone has a blog. Now I'm being a joiner. Like I need to waste more time on the internet. Here I am. I have only rarely journaled with any regularity. So who knows what will come of this. I'm already wasting too much time in cyberland, but maybe this can be counted as productive, since maybe it will be, you know, like, my life story. Whatever.

Today, my inlaws are coming. I've gotta clean the house. They have had my oldest son with them now for two weeks. He's had a blast, but now he's coming home. Yippee. They were going to take my oldest daughter with them to stay for a couple of weeks, but she has an orthodontist appointment next Wed and a team party for her softball team the weekend after that. We'll probably take her out to Georgia in August and let the grandparents bring her back right before school starts. My youngest dd would like to stay with them in theory, but in practice, I just don't think she's up to it. She's my little girl and she needs me nearby methinks. She's only 5. Maybe next summer. Then of course, my youngest ds is only 19 months and still a nursling. He's staying right here with me.

Now, if I can get rid of dh for a while...just kidding. Happy birthday, honey. I love you. Today he is 36. I turned 36 on June 7, so I have a few weeks on him in the age dept.

I'm new to this whole blog thing. I hate writing papers for school, I hate writing letters, I really would rather just talk. If I can really just write what comes to my mind, this could end up pretty boring, but easy for me. Maybe my children's children's children will enjoy reading it one day...maybe not. :)

My favorite breakfast:

2 eggs
some chopped sweet onion
some chopped marinated roasted red pepper

I stir together and add salt and pepper, then cook on a non stick griddle.

Then I eat it with:

chopped garden tomatoes (they are in season and abundant right now) mixed with sriracha sauce
OR
some canned Rotel tomatoes (very yummilicious and good to eat with just about everything)

This just gets better every time I eat it. If you eat this for breakfast, it really isn't that many calories, about 225-250, depending on the amount of oil used in cooking. If you eat it with toast or other starchy thing, then its a lot of calories.

My 5 yo rolled off the bed in her sleep this morning. I think she sort of stubbed her toe on the tile floor. I jumped out of bed to the sound of her screaming. She got over it quickly and went back to sleep. I had to wake her up a little while later because she has been sleeping in every morning til 8 or 9 and then she can't go to sleep at a decent hour! She's awake til 10 or so! Dh and I need our quiet time! 19 mo son woke up when he heard her cry and I nursed him a minute or so and he went back to sleep.